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Mother, writer and daydreamer. Also chocoholic and chick-flick lover. But mainly mommy. To two boys, at that! When not escorting my Elder One (EO) to karate class, I'm trying to get in as many cuddles as possible from my Younger One (YO). And when not doing either, I'm hard-at-work trying to maintain a steady relationship with my laptop. And as for the Man I Married (MIM), well, let’s just put it this way – even though we share a bedroom, our most meaningful conversations are held over the cell-phone!

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

And a Crappy Teacher's Day to You, B****

Saturday, September 5th, was Teacher's Day. The EO's school celebrated it on the 3rd, Thursday and as a gift to the children of KG and Class 1, declared Friday a holiday for them.

Thursday, I was also called into school by the EO's Bangla teacher. The meeting was not a happy one. Let's just say that she has "been in the teaching line for 28 years!!!", which probably entitles her to be cold and scary. It's also why she probably has that huge boulder on her shoulder about being right and therefore closed to the possibilities of logic and systematic approach to teaching. She spoke to me and two other moms and we realised that it was absolutely futile to say anything. She paces herself against the above-average students and doesn't really give a tiny rodent's behind about the weak ones! She then gave her assessments for each of our sons. She said my son's handwriting is pathetic...I agreed. She said he's always chatting thus never finishing his work on which I added he's easily distracted as well as slow. She said he needed to work which I nodded my head since I was biting down on my tongue to not say what I really felt.

Two hours later, I got a call from school, informing me that the EO had a high fever. Went and picked my flushed son up and the poor boy missed out on the celebrations.

Over the weekend, I sat down with him and we made a lovely card for his teacher. The MIM told us to make one for the Bangla teacher as well. I knew it would be an exercise in futility, having met her and been charmed (NOT!) by her personality. But the MIM was insistent and so, more for his sake than anyone else's, I agreed. And so, we made another card and I even made the EO sign his name in Bangla.

So what happens when my son gives the cards to his teachers? The class teacher smilingly accepts and says, "Thank you baby!"

The vernacular lady says, "Teacher's Day tho shesh. ( over)", and then she gives it back. SHE GIVES IT BACK, PEOPLE!!!!

Where does she get off crushing a little boy's feelings like that? Where do these people get their degrees from? How can they even be allowed near little children? Send them to look after the inmates of a correctional institute instead!

I felt so terrible for my sensitive little boy, the one who gets easily hurt and crushed, and I shuddered to think what her cruel gesture must have done to his precious, loving heart. But when I looked down at his face, he was smiling and the sun was radiating in his beautiful face and I realised that that was not the end of it. "So what did you do?"

He shrugged, smiled and simply said, "I told her, 'Kintu aami tho kichhu diye ni'* and I put it back in her hand and sat down." *(But I didn't give you anything)

Bravo EO!! Well done! I would have expected you to burst into tears, because's your way. But hopefully, not anymore. You really are growing up, aren't you? May you always have the strength, attitude and personality to deal with unpleasant people and situations in this calm, smiley, sunshine-y, graceful way. This is my wish for you, my soon to be six-year-old.

Oh, and MIM? What does this incident teach you?!?! That Mamma's always, ALWAYS right!!


Swapna Raghu Sanand said...

Such a beautiful post. I felt tears in my eyes when I read it. I can't tell you how deeply I felt for your son, when that teacher gave the card back to him. But big cheers and hugs for your darling son. It just shows how kids are very intelligent and teachers and parents need to stop underestimating them so often.

About the teacher you mentioned, the less said, the better. I went for one meeting and the teacher told me that my son is slow. I asked, slow in what. She says generally slow. However, I needed to know what he is slow at so i asked, is it understanding concepts? She says no. Is it playing with others, she says no. Is it responding to instructions? She says no. Then out of the blue she says he eats cheese slowly!

Well, I can't tell you how some teachers really ruin your faith in the educational system but thankfully, there are a lot of good teachers out there to give us a ray of hope.

Thanks for sharing your experience with us. It was so sweet. A big hug for you and your son.

Passionate Goof said...

Know what M4? Things like these scare me so much. I am just so holding back letting the BB out in the world, for the fear of such people. It will be tough enough, leaving him with others, without me around, and then knowing there can be rude b****** like that.God!

Kudos to the sweet brave EO, for being such a sweet smart boy. Aren't kids such pure sweet untainted souls, with love and joy for everyone. And believe me I know about such teachers. They are unhappy with their own selves and that is why they are this way. Hugs to the brave EO.

Anonymous said...

hey M4 .. first - love the new look.
second - amd so PROUD of the EO. well done kiddo!!! Am so impressed with him. Quick and simple - but I didnt get anything for you! LOL. Wish i could see the look on the teacher's face.

heck, if she doesnt appreciate them, she doesnt deserve the company of such wonderful kids.

Annie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Annie said...

a) Even though the Bangla teacher was off here...WAY OFF, I still think MIM was right here.

b)The situation goes to show, you have been right a mill ion trillion times, for the EO to know what the right thing to do was...

Three cheers to all the moms who teach graciousness, dignity and respect to their young ones, by setting such examples and standards...

Monika,Ansh said...

This is un-beliveable. How inconsidertae & rude. I hate her!!! & I ma sure all the students feel the same about her too.
But Kuodos to EO. You have surely grown up boy. God Bless you.

R's Mom said...

Hi M4, Your post was really nice..and its good to see that EO stood up to his teacher...I just hope this doesnt spoil affect his perspective for teachers in general...My mom has been a teacher for the past 30 years and every year she gets 100s of hand made cards on teachers day...she makes it very clear to her students that she wont accept any form of gifts or ready made cards since she doesnt believe in students spending money on such things...She teaches kids from class 1 to 7 and trust me please let EO know that all teachers are not like his Bangla teacher...
BTW..way to go rock!

Sue said...

Well done, EO. That's a nasty situation beautifully handled.

Mamma mia! Me a mamma? said...

@Swapna: I had tears in my eyes too when my son told me, but then I felt so proud of his behaviour! He is growing up and how!
Luckily there are some wonderful teachers out there to negate the ill-effects of these ill-equipped ones.

@PG: Don't be afraid, dear. It's an eventuality that you have to deal with, soon. Just trust in his upbringing. In other words, trust in yourself and your teachings. Your BB will be fine :)

@happy: Exactly! She shouldn't be allowed near these precious, untainted soul. She'll darken their spirit with her meanness!

@Annie: Thank you so much for that! I just wish I hadn't been right in predicting her meanness of spirit...our children can do without such encounters to see if they have learnt life's lessons.

@Mon,Ansh: She is not a popular teacher, that's for sure!

@R's Mom: Your mother sounds like a wonderfully, special teacher :) And don't you worry, my EO loves his class teacher and still has very fond memories of his KG teacher. Plus, my MIL and two of my SILs are teachers, so he knows not to club them all in the same side :)

@Sue: I know! I still can't believe he behaved so maturely! My baby's growing up. *sniff, sniff*

Trish said...

Well done EO!!
B-U-T I Still cannot get over how rude that teacher is!!!you are right..such people should not be alowed even 100 meters near small kids.

Uma said...

EO seems to be quick witted... and just can't understand the psyche behind such attitude!

wordjunkie said...

This teacher sounds like a horror!
Bravo, EO, for working your magic yet again.

dipali said...

What a sweetheart your EO is, God bless him:)

Sujata said...

Oh my god! She should not be in the profession of teaching. She -I guess- does not understand the purpose of the to nurture and help the chldren grow into independ, confident adults ------and to not stroke her own ego......

The Ketchup Girl said...

EO, one big tight hug. And M4, brace yourself, for each of those bangla teachers, EO will have 10 loving ones. And I know how u must have felt. Meeshu made a paper flower for one of her teachers. A few days later, when i wnt to pick her up, she pulled me into her class room and took me to a basket and dug out some old stuff...underneath that lay her beautiful paper flower, crushed. She picked it up and said, 'cholo mumma'. She brought it back home and put it in ther flower vase. I don't know what went through her mind. I let it be. I want her to deal with these things. ofcourse I gave her a hug and said, its ok. This generation is far far mature and smart that we will ever be.

Swati said...

Horrible !! And she thinks she is a teacher ...EO did teach her something I think

Poppy said...

Ok is it only me who thought that the EO meant differently when he said that, That he wasn't giving it back at all? Here's what I interpreted (maybe it's because I don't follow Bangla)

Evil hag (F^^&*%%!) teacher says: Teachers day is already over! *hands back gift*
EO: Yes, but I didn't give you anything (that day, so am giving it to you now) and hands back gift.

I'm wrong?

I keep projecting Poppin on to him, maybe that's why I read him wrong.

I know what you mean about sensitive children (don't I ever!) and am so so so glad that he didn't cry.

you go EO!!

P.S I still think MIM was not wrong, possible he thought that this would melt the teacher's evil heart - but oh no - her heart is made of stone!

Mama - Mia said...

awwwww! Hugs to EO! he is a super kid i tell ya!

and that teacher will rot in Teacher's Hell or whatever they have for MEAN teachers!



Anonymous said...

EO is such a sweetheart!!

But this was no way for the teacher to react. I have had my share of experiences with such teachers, and I always wonder why we ask our children to say nothing against a teacher... they must be polite and courteous of course, but respect the teacher must earn from them... Teachers are human, and as prone to being impatient, insensitive, even cruel, prejudiced and immature as other humans. You are right this one is in the wrong profession.

And I was also always told my daughter talks in class, and writes slowly... did her no harm.

Wrote this comment trying to stay cool after reading about this teacher, I hope it makes sense M4...
By the way I heard Kapil Sibal on TV today, and I think he's making some brilliant changes!!!

Mamma mia! Me a mamma? said...

@Trish: Glad you agree! Should we start a petition?

@Uma: I don't know about quick-witted, but definitely honest. And I have serious problems understanding and accepting this kind of I don't.

@WJ: She's the stuff nightmares are made of, I tell you!

@Dipali: Thank you :D

@Sujata: Like I said, she should be warden in an all-women's correctional facility!

@KG: Really? The beyotch actually did that? OMG!! As I read your words, I couldn't help but imagine your little girl rummaging through the dust-bin to show you her flower lying there, crushed and neglected! My heart actually shed a few tears at the image!! Hug her for me please...for being so mature and for being so full of dignity and grace.

@Swati: No, I don't think my EO was able to teach anything to her. You can teach warm-blooded human beings and chimps and dogs...not cold, ice statues.

@Poppy: But yes, that is exactly what he meant. I don't think what my EO said was witty or anything. I just felt it was disarmingly simple in its honesty. I am so proud of the way he reacted and the fact that he didn't let the meanness of her spirit crush him.

@Namesake: Yup! That's where she's going alright!

@IHM: Oh I understand! And three cheers for Kapil Sibal. I always felt that the education system desperately needs to be revamped...its long overdue. Finally, it seems like there's someone willing to understand and try. The next bit is the tough bit, making sure that it is implemented in schools all over the country. I mean really, REALLY implemented.

Sparkling said...

God Bless you, EO! Bravo indeed! :)

And I totally agree to what MIM said and asked to do, wasn't that mainly the reason why EO could do what he did?! ;)

Wow! All of a sudden he's become the bigger person :D

And babes, I just don't want to waste my ink on the teacher.

Ruch said...

My goodness what a b**** !
Actually I am not surprised because I faced an equally callous teacher while at school. Infact I blogged about him in my teachers day post as well !
But three cheers for EO !! - He handled the whole situation so well - Is it too much to hope that the teacher will learn something from the graceful way EO behaved ?

Ruch said...

Wow - fancy meeting a fellow JNUite in blogsphere - I am frm the 1997/MA SL Japanese batch !
I am sure we must have crossed paths many times in JNU !

Mystic Margarita said...

What the eff? I'm hopping mad that a techer can act this way! Bless the EO for being such a sweetheart.

Indyeah said...

you know what MM?
I started reading kind of knowing what to expect...because I have had my share of such teachers way back in school(and in college too for that matter) and now even as *shudder* colleagues ...

but you know what I didnt expect?


He shrugged, smiled and simply said, "I told her, 'Kintu aami tho kichhu diye ni'* and I put it back in her hand and sat down." *(But I didn't give you anything)

and now tell me who will remain untouched by that innocence?that beautiful spirit that a child has?
Only a monster ..only someone who has refused to be a part of humankind long back....

for EO?:)) (((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))
Dear EO:)
you make it a joy to teach:)) I love teaching because I meet and fall a little in love with angels like you:))) each and every time:))

the MIM was right MM :)) and you were right too:)) and between the MIM 's advice and your understanding I think you did good:)) real good:))

EO will always have a sunny , giving spirit:))

He will realize as he grows up that there are those who might not be open to love and affection and giving ..but that He always needs to carry on regardless:))
for, what else does one expect from such a little darling?:)

he is growing up just right MM:) just about right:))
yes sir! he is:)