I don’t think I ever told you this.
When I was a few weeks pregnant with you, I went for my first USG with your father. After the doc switched on the screen, he pointed out this little tadpole with a beating heart. He then turned the volume up and I heard this urgent, whooshing sound like a tiny fire engine rolling through shrubs in the land of Lilliput. It was your heartbeat. I started laughing, soundlessly, my belly trembling with so much love and joy that my doctor even exclaimed to your very perplexed father, “My God, she’s shaking so much!” I admit, I cried a little too.
That’s when it hit me...how happy I was to be getting you; how much I wanted you. And when you finally came, I couldn’t take my eyes off you and when they finally put you in my arms, I just refused to let go. I was greedy and selfish and wouldn’t share the perfection that is you with anyone...not with your tamma or dadu, very grudgingly and grumpily with your manuku, daduku and yes, even your baba. I had been accused time and again for not sharing you and even though in my head I knew everyone was right, but my heart and my arms just couldn’t bear the thought of parting with you even for a few seconds.
Sometimes, I did worry whether I was thwarting you. Whether my oak-tree presence in your life stunted you...
But, my beautiful boy, thankfully my rain cloud like nurturing, couldn’t thwart the sunshine that is you. As far as nature went, you took after your baba and in this I am glad. So very glad. Your bright, friendly, sunny nature just oozed out of every pore. You’re confident, can make friends easily and that two with both genders, talk up a storm and you make yourself at ease wherever you go. You adjust, you accommodate, you allow for flaws and lapses in those whom you love.
So, in other words, despite having a Mamma Bear like me, you shone. And continue to shine. And my prayer for you is, that you always do.
As always, a year of unforgettable experiences. Being the kind of Mamma that I am, I just want to hug you and cuddle you and squish you all the time. Thankfully, you still love the cuddles. Luckily, we’re a cuddle-bunny family...again, something I am immensely thankful to your baba for. So yes, I am so grateful that you not only love and enjoy being hugged and cuddled, you also demand it. But of course, all this is at home and it’s quite alright by me. But having said all that, I also know that you are growing up. You have always been curious by nature and I’ve always encouraged you to come to me with your questions and thankfully, you do. So, yes, last year, for the first time, we had The Talk. I felt like dying a little bit inside, but I knew it had to be done. And I remember being grateful and relieved after it was over. I feel blessed that we share these lines of communication and I hope that they are always open. Right now, they are and that’s why you don’t shy away from telling me anything... What I’m trying to say, is that you also shared a super big secret with me – your first crush! And, as promised, your secret’s safe with me – I haven’t told anyone! Not even your baba!
You still have a huge appetite for reading. Your love for ACK, history and mythology endures and you’re current favourite is the Percy Jackson series. You’ve finished the first series and your grandmom is gifting you with the second series and in case you get book vouchers for your birthday, you’ve already decided you’ll buy the third series with those! Phew! That’s a lot of love! You and I are always getting into these Harry Potter vs. Percy Jackson arguments and the battle continues... You’ve also recently taken to reading newspapers. I have mixed feelings about that since I know what kind of rubbish is printed these days as well as the reportage of all the gruesome and violent events all over the world, but it’s difficult to censor them, so I let you read and then I answer yiur questions with as much ease and calm that I can muster.
You started karate classes again after a gap of five years. This is because of your love for all things Japanese, especially sushi. This love is as strong as your love for all things Spanish, especially FCB. You’ve even been trying to teach yourself Spanish for a while now! You love food. You love GK. You’re crazy about dogs and it’s thanks to you that I know share my home with a big brute of a golden retriever called Puppito.
You’re well-read. You’re dramatic. You’re sensitive. You want to know everything about everything and just can’t stop talking.
You’re precocious. When I try to distance myself, I see that. I also see that it’s difficult for you to make lasting friendships and it worries me. It breaks my heart. But I realise that it’s only because other boys your age just don’t know how to relate to you.
Oh I worry about you constantly. About your sweetness. Your gullibility. Your clutziness. Your talkativeness.
But someone once told me that God keeps an eye out for the sensitive ones. Well, I guess I’ll just have to place my faith in that.
I don’t think I will ever tire of saying this to you, my son, my love, my pride and joy – I am blessed to have been chosen to be you Mamma.
Happy 11th, my darling, precious boy.
Love you forever and always,