Ravishing (?) Ravs

So many worthy and justifiable posts happening about the guys that 'rock'...namely Farhan Akhtar and Arjun Rampal. Yes, they're on my sweet-dish too; caramel coated, chocolate covered and rolled about in roasted almonds. Along with some other delectable pieces, like Johnny Depp and Hritik Roshan. A connoisseur's delight! (You hear a funny noise, you say? Oh! That's just me smacking my lips in true vixen style!)
Anyway, the Man I Married has been watching me express my not-so-subtle interest in all the man candy with emotions ranging from disdain to derision, from to HAHAHOHOHEHE to hohum. The smiles on his face have essayed many roles too. Let's see...there's been the Snotty Sneer, the Sardonic Grin, the Stupid Smirk and, oh yes, the Grumpy Grimace. Sometimes, Sarcastic Snorts and Mocking Laughter make an appearance, but only if my declarations of unbridled ardour seem especially outrageous to the MIM.

All these various smiles and guffaws have made their appearance in our marital existence and played their part really well, ever since I let slip to the MIM that Johnny Depp and I were spiritual soulmates in another lifetime. I think I also may have mentioned the fact that in another birth, I was Hritik Roshan dancing muse.

Yes, I have also had opportunity to mock, grin and sneer in all these years of wedlock as well. A certain someone by the name of Raveena Tandon has been the object of devoted affection for my husband. But ever since she's fallen off the map of Bollywood, my samples of jests, jokes and jibes have been gathering dust amongst a pile of other unused or dormant feelings and expressions.

I had resigned myself to this fact since it seemed like it would be a while before anybody else could ever be spectacular enough for my sweetie, when two nights ago, we were watching a news channel and suddenly, there she was! The Raveena herself, looking rather remarkable and quite living up to her moniker of Ravishing Ravs.

Immediately, the MIM's back straigtened, his eyes unglazed themselves ("All the better to ogle her with Grandmaa!") and his hand went up to his head to straighten his hair...in the remote chance that she had somehow acquired bionic vision that would enable her to zoom through the satellitosphere and settle on this ardent suitor of hers, clad in tattered tee and shabby shorts, but hair firmly in place. Who knows, maybe that one little detail, the not-a-hair-out-of-place-even-though-it's-time-for-bed detail, might be the deal-clincher in the MIM's favour. And a smile that hadn't seen the light of TV glare and felt the evening stubble of the MIM's facial landscape in eons, suddenly made its appearance...the Drooly Doggy Style, oops! I mean Smile...hehehe!

I felt the beginnings of Snotty Sneer twist the corners of my mouth. As the interview progressed, the Sneer, long unpractised yet not forgotten and therefore comfortably familiar, settled itself happily on my face. But soon, the Sneer made way for Open-Mouthed Outrage. I glanced over at hubby and noticed that the Drooly Doggy Smile had become a Perplexed Pucker.

She was so mean! No, no! Mean is nice, compared to how she was behaving! She was rude, condescending, loud (as in volume-wise) and down-right nasty! The journalist (I don't know who it was, she was off camera and I didn't catch her name), asked her a series of questions (silly questions, I admit) of the "Who is an over-rated actor?" kind, in rapid fire style. She answered all of them, but her attitude was obnoxious!

And from the baffled look in the MIM's eyes, I could tell he thought so too. I even said as much.

Ever the loyal admirer, he rose to vociferously yet ineffectually defend her.

I welcomed the Sardonic Grin on my face and noted that she had brought Gusty Guffaw along with her for the sheer pleasure of mocking the besotted, bespectacled, boyishly-behaving MIM!

I love it when tables turn, whirl and salsa!