My darling EO,
Happy Birthday, my sweetheart, my jaan, my heart’s delight, my soul’s song. Happy Birthday my beloved first born.
One more year has passed since you came into my life and enriched it beyond every stretch of imagination. I still can’t believe sometimes that I was the lucky one, chosen, yes CHOSEN, by the Powers Upstairs, to be your mom. My great good fortune. My luck. My destiny. To be your mamma.
A smile from you lights up my insides, my world, my life and I know no greater feeling. And then you laugh with unrestrained joy and my heart melts into a happy pile of mush. That is the power, the sight of your smile and the sound of your laugh have over me.
The power your tears have over me is equally devastating. I either do my best to hold it together as I gather you in my arms and hug you close and once you’ve calmed down, I run off to the bathroom and start sobbing, or I start shouting at you to toughen up, because I’m at my wit’s end when I find you behaving like a cry baby over something that seems so trivial and inconsequential…and I hate myself for it afterwards. I tell myself I won’t do it again next time, but I fail miserably and end up hating myself even more.
Why my sweetheart? Why these tears? You are such an intelligent boy, so what is this stubbornness that makes you refuse to listen and understand when we patiently, softly and lovingly try to explain why you should/shouldn’t be behaving in the manner the situation of the moment demands? You start bawling, your obstinacy reaching unbelievable heights of inflexibility and your father and I lose it, wondering what we’re doing wrong. Later f course, we point fingers at each other, swearing you’ve inherited that particular strain of pig-headedness from the other. Personally, I think you’ve got it in double measure from both of us!
You are such a sensitive, caring child. I see it everyday in big ways and small. In the ways you worry yourself over your father’s comfort and mine. In the way you look out for your younger brother. In the way you look up to your cousin brother. In the way you look out for your classmates…rushing to their defense if they’ve done something naughty and your class teacher is about to give them a little lecture, entreating on their behalf not to scold them, and also squatting next to a hurt and crying buddy, wiping away his/her tears, offering words of comfort and a shoulder to lean on. Your class teacher in Nursery, Meghna Ma’am told me last year and your Prep teacher, Richa Ma’am confirms this.
Everyday, an expression, a gesture or something you say, will take my breath away…you wonderful, sensitive boy, you! And though there are times when I want to see you tougher, stronger, so that no one can take advantage of your vulnerability, tease you mercilessly and reduce you to a quivering pool of tears, there are times when I want you to stay exactly the way you are. We need kind, generous souls in the world…you are the reason that my faith in the innate goodness of humanity is still intact. I need your heart to beautify my world
Your love for music became more pronounced than ever. You’ve been going to the Calcutta School of Music conducted Junior Music class for exactly a year now. Three months ago, your music teacher told me that you were ready to ‘move on’. I looked at her rather stupidly; not really believing what she was telling me because CSM doesn’t admit students into their music classes unless they’re six years old…and you weren’t even five yet! And so I brought that little detail to her attention and she said that you were ‘musically mature’ to handle it! And she suggested the violin…no less! So, after the pujos, a-hunting we will go, for a pint-sized violin, for the perfect fit!
Thanks to the commute to and from school, we are glued to FM. You have picked up an amazing array of songs and can identify them from their opening notes. While you have some absolute favourites that haven’t changed in ages, each new song that you hear and fall in like with, becomes your ‘fravrit’ for the moment until the next one comes along. As of now your most loved list includes songs from Dhoom 2, Jhoom Barabar Jhoom, Chak De India!, Bhool Bhulaiya, Om Shanti Om, Jodhaa Akbar, Thoda Pyaar aur Thoda Magic…amongst many, many others!
Your love for Tom & Jerry, the Transformers (esp. Optimus Prime) and Ben Ten has me in splits! Whenever you get together with your cousin and/or two closest friends A1 and A2…your little adventure games revolve around the capers of these comic creatures. Your story-games are delightful as well as tremendously imaginative. The way you root for Tom whenever he’s getting hassled, beaten or confounded by that little mouse has me shaking with quiet amusement! It reminds your Manuku of me when I was your age! It used to be one of my favourite cartoons at your age too! In fact, your Daduku enjoys watching it with you and the two of you laugh at their madcap antics! When you’re having a bad day and/or are sleepy, you then burst into tears at Jerry’s Machiavellian ministrations…promising all kinds of vengeance on the poor cat’s behalf, your little body shaking with anger! And when you watch Ben Ten and he’s turning into one of the aliens, esp. Four-Arms, you spring up from your seat and go through the moves, turning into the alien superhero yourself! And as for Optimus Prime, what can I say? You want to be Optimus Prime! Your fascination for him has become legendary, so much so, that A1 & A2’s mom as well as your Kakima bought you the same present. And then, yesterday, on your birthday, when your father and I took you out to buy your present, you stood transfixed in front of the OP display. We had a doozy of a time picking out a present for you; you had a big OP, your world was complete, you wanted nothing else!! Well, we finally bought you a movie you picked out…Jungle Book 2, a basketball hoop, a box of tattoos that you can colour and stick on and a Transformers 100 piece puzzle. We know it’ll be a while before you pay any of these presents attention since your ‘dhyaan’ and ‘gyaan’ rest solely on OP now! Does it worry me? Well, initially it did, but now that I know you understand that these are only cartoon characters and not real, I sit back and take delight in your delight. It's cute. It's sweet. It's you.
You are five years old now. ‘They’ say that you’ve officially lost your God-connection. The rules that apply to the rest of us, now apply to you. You are now old enough to do ‘pronaam’ to your elders, you can get a ‘janam kundali’ made, and etc. etc. If God whispers to you, you won’t be able to hear. Humph! Your eyes and heart tell me otherwise my son…you will always be blessed with the God-connect my little love! If anything my precious child, you have strengthened my connection with/to God more than ever. Thank you!
This past one year, you’ve gone through six career changes…chef, Optimus Prime, Kung Fu Panda, Four-Arms, your dad and Shah Rukh Khan!
This past one year, you’ve graduated from a white belt to a yellow belt in karate. And now you seem happy there. Orange doesn’t seem to appeal to you!
This past year, you've taken to sleeping with your favourite toys. You slept with OP throughout last night. And it was clutched tightly in your hand as we transferred you from your cousin's rom to your room after your aunt's birthday party got over, even though you were fast asleep!
This past one year, you fell in love with Krishna. You want to hear his stories all the time. You want to help your Manuku dress up the litle Gopala she keeps in her puja room. You want a yellow, silk dhoti, a flute and a peacock feather just like him. You are my little natkhat Nandlala!
This past one year, you transformed from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer in your Nursery class play to Sleeping Beauty’s Handsome Prince in your Prep class play.
This past one year, you have enriched my life’s meaning even more. You have deepened my faith in good and God. You have made me love you even more.
God bless you my darling boy!
My 'big' boy! My five-year old boy!
I will love you forever and beyond!
I was looking back
2 hours ago