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Mother, writer and daydreamer. Also chocoholic and chick-flick lover. But mainly mommy. To two boys, at that! When not escorting my Elder One (EO) to karate class, I'm trying to get in as many cuddles as possible from my Younger One (YO). And when not doing either, I'm hard-at-work trying to maintain a steady relationship with my laptop. And as for the Man I Married (MIM), well, let’s just put it this way – even though we share a bedroom, our most meaningful conversations are held over the cell-phone!

Friday, August 14, 2009

What I Learned About Balls Today or The Fat Busting Diaries, Again

Okaaaayyyy. Pilates and stability balls. The former, a generic name given to a medivial form of torture practised in the ancient world and most probably meted out by pirates from whom it gets its name; it has resurfaced in the modern world as a type of self-inflicted torture, practised by masochistic women. The latter, the torture device of choice.

Here is what I learnt today...
  1. Stability balls. Seriously? You really couldn't find a better name for that one? In a Fickle Fest, it can easily go bouncing off with first prize, it's nearest contender a hormonal, teen-aged boy's heart.
    SOOOOO erroneously named. But then, to paraphrase the immortal words of the Bard, what is in a friggin' name? After all, would not the rack, by any other name, be just as body-alteringly hellish?
  2. In Torture World, seconds are actually longer. So when the instructor says "Hold that position for ten more seconds", she means twenty.
  3. Women on the floor, flat on their backs, legs in the air, moaning and groaning? Not always sexy. Even when the balls are between their legs. No. Really not sexy.
  4. I always knew I had a jelly-belly, jiggle-jaggle-jugs and thunder thighs. I did not know I had knock-about knees. Now I know.
  5. I must be the shortest woman alive.
  6. Even the hair on my head is groaning in protest today.
  7. Endorphins are over-rated. At least during the entire procedure.

I so recommend this to everyone! You might die by the end of it, but at least you'll die fabulously and not flabulously.

And now, there's a grave out there somewhere with my name on it. Heaven is hopefully a land where pain-killers grow on trees. And chocolate is fat-free and still delicious. And the angels all look like Johnny Depp, Hugh Jackman and Hritik Roshan. And...

Ouch! I just pulled a finger muscle typing that last sentence. Right now, I'll just settle for the pain-killer tree.

7 comments:

indianhomemaker said...

LOL or maybe you could settle for Johnny Depp bringing you some painkillers :)

I took out my dumbells after ages, so I guess these torture tales are inspiring, I also want to die fabulous and not flabulous :)

Monika said...

ROFL tell me about it... i am firm believer of the fact that gym instructors are the most cruel and sadistic people on earth

WhatsInAName said...

lol
I am sorry but that was hilarious. But dont ya worry, we will soon be hearing from a zeroine, mammamia! :D
Keep up the ...er... tor...

WhatsInAName said...

BTW, so sweet of you to knock on my blog to ask about my wellbeing. I am fine and just being plain lazy!

Sparkling said...

Lol!
Ouch! I can almost, just almost, feel your pain :)

Are the pain-killers working? :p

P.S: Maybe, BodyJam could help. And keep it going M4!

Mamma mia! Me a mamma? said...

@IHM: Aaah! What a vision! My daydreams during workout...all set now! Thanks :)
And kick it woman! We owe it to ourselves!

@Mon: But you know, our pilates instructor is one of the sweetest people on God's Earth! She's so friendly and caring! I actually wanna be her BFF!

@WIAN: Zeroine? Nah...never was, I'm broad-boned and curvy...at least I was curvy. Aiming for that again. Been a sow too long now!
And so glad to see you here! Now get off your lazy horse and write something :)

@Sparkling: Ooooh! The pain is actually unimaginable. You have to try it and see! Soooo, why don't you? ;p

Monika,Ansh said...

I go Awwwwww & Lol at the same time.

Hope the next sessions are not as painful. & as long as u get the results!!