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Mother, writer and daydreamer. Also chocoholic and chick-flick lover. But mainly mommy. To two boys, at that! When not escorting my Elder One (EO) to karate class, I'm trying to get in as many cuddles as possible from my Younger One (YO). And when not doing either, I'm hard-at-work trying to maintain a steady relationship with my laptop. And as for the Man I Married (MIM), well, let’s just put it this way – even though we share a bedroom, our most meaningful conversations are held over the cell-phone!

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Building the Body Beautiful...or, How to Die a Slow, Painful Death or The Fat Busting Diaries, Contd.

I am pretty sure that 'pilates' were some sort of medivial torture-chamber routine designed to crack women, centuries ago. And I'm sure pirates were the preferred Masters of Death Ceremonies carrying out said torture. How else do you explain the one letter difference? (accent be damned!)

In my on-going quest to lose weight, I have joined a 'Body Balance' class at the swankiest health, fitness and beauty centre in town, 'Solace'. Although after today's back-breaking session, the place offers anything but! Once again, a little gem for my collection of 'The Bitter Ironies of This, My Life'.

My earlier venture did not bear fruit and was quickly abandoned. A lot of money, sanity and good humour was lost. I kid you not, but a law-suit was also considered for unethical practices, but I ran out of steam and patience. I still do think I'll write about my experiences to save others the trauma as well as a helluva lot of money, but who's gonna print it or believe it? You, my good friends and gentle readers, just believe me when I say, VLCC is all fraud. It is just a money-making machine -- STAY AWAY!!

Diets don't work. Except for one...water and one square inch of steamed tofu a day. But since I love food too much and hate tofu equally, we all know that said diet isn't even a consideration for moi.

At the ripe old age of 33, I have finally discovered the truth. And the truth is lose weight, one must grant oneself a slow, painful, tortuous death. In other words, one must exercise.

Exercise is the key to losing weight. And that's why, two months ago, I renewed my love affair with the water. That's right, I started going swimming, 3 to 5 times a week.

I enjoy swimming. I love it. I'm a water-baby. A mermaid. A siren with a song. And the results showed! After three years, I finally had a waist again! Oh indescribable joy! And waist meet sari petticoat and bust-line say goodbye to sari petticoat! That's right people, the sari is being worn at it's righful place on this particular female form again!

And here's the thing about losing weight. When it starts to happen, I mean, really, really happen, it makes you hungry for more. I have always wondered whether after babies, boobage and blubber, you can ever be what you once were? Or are you reduced to a wardrobe of black for the rest of your days? I don't know, but I knew I wanted to try. Even if not what I was eight years ago, maybe what I was six years ago? And so when a friend of mine said she was going to join pilates class, I jumped on the band-wagon with a yee-hah and a vision of me in white, sleeveless dresses!

Monday was supposed to be the first class, but since I had a fever, I skipped it. This morning, I had a body-ache thanks to the viral, but other than that, I was okay. So I thought, let me give this body something to really ache about.

So mon amie and I, along with her really sweet mom, went for pilates today. As we stated working out together, side by side, I felt like I was in a chick flick movie :)

And then...OH MY GOD!!! It was sooooo intense!! My body hasn't hurt like that in years! And the poetic names for those poses, like Reverse Swan, Equestrian, Submissive Warrior and Rag Doll, did nothing to make the process easier.

I'm up for eleven more classes. My body feels like it's was used in a game of football by a team of rhinos and elephants. And yet I feel like I'm on a happy high.

Maybe the endorphins have something to do with it, but I know for a fact that I am happy with myself. Proud of myself. For actually trying to do something about the thing that's been keeping me down and depressed for so long.

I owned up. I took responsibility. And I'm fighting to get fit. So three cheers for me!

Next visit to the torture chamber, Friday. Oh, and we'll be working with balls.


Stability balls, y'all.


Passionate Goof said...

yippy! That pain must be feeling good. I can imagine. All the best keep at it M4. I am cheering for you, and while on the way, do share the tips.

wordjunkie said...

Three cheers form me!!!

Swimming is my thing too, my stress buster, my miracle tonic to boost a lousy day. And how nice to have fun AND get lighter!

Monika,Ansh said...

Three CHeers for u M4. Yes, it takes courage to own up & get up & do something about it. Kudos to u girl.
& I'll me looking upto to you after I am through with my pregnancy. :)

Manali said...

Wow M4, I've been reading your blog recently, and wish I read about the VLCC part earlier. I've already signed up for a "waist and tummy trim treatment" on a 50% flat discount at that! (Still cost me hell of a lot of money!!!). Well lets see how that goes. Meanwhile keep us posted on the!

Mama - Mia said...

woohoo! you go girl!! i am terribly irregular!! :(

you must do better! :D


Anonymous said...

Congratulations M4 :) Sounds like you enjoyed the experience ;) I think once the results start showing you always are encouraged to dare some more! Such pain is always welcome! Reading this is inspiring!

Mamma mia! Me a mamma? said...

@PG: I will shae with you whatever you need to know. You know that!

@WJ: Cheers to us frilly mermaids! Nothing like the cool, cool blues.

@Mon,Ansh: Thanks sweetie :) And you are naturally slim and gorgeous, I'm sure you'll be back to your slim and sexy pre-preg size in no time at all. And I'll help you in whatever way I can, you know that. :)

@Manali: Oh no! VLCC! Well, it didn't work out for me, but I'm sure that's not the case with everyone. Good luck and keep me posted. I'm here for moral support.

@Namesake: Sigh! I hear you! I've always had a problem with regularity myself. Just go whenever you can, after all, something is better than nothing.

@IHM: Oh thank you! You're such an inspiration to me too!

Indyeah said...

LOL@pilates and pirates :D:D

reminds me also of Oprah's show long back on Pilates :D

you are a waterbaby?
what better way to burn those calories?
I do the same!

try to see if a club with pool facilities is nearby..that will eb the best coz you enjoy it na?

if not well back to pilates :D:D

(imagine the sadist in me grinnignright about now:D:D)

all the best MM:))
I soo want to crack a joke or two on that last line :D but moi will refrain


Monika said...

go for it M4 and u know i disagree there I healthy weight loss always always has to be a balance between dieting (and when I say that I talk abt a sensible diet and not water and tofu) and exercise... u do only one and it doesnt work

I had been trying only gym forever now and when the diet came into picture the results actually started coming

and VLCC i agree its a farse... shame

All the best M4!!! just do it :) we are all here cheering on u!!

The Ketchup Girl said...

Pilates sounds very villian-ish. Dont ask why. Just the sound of it. Ive heard Pilates helps especially with bottom heavy bodies- :))- sounds like just for me. And now that i have a first hand account of some one who is really at it, i shall wait, watch and then dawn those track pants. But M4 u inspire me much. (And tofu aint as bad as u accuse it to be. )