Often I worry about the kind of relationship the Man I Married and I will share with our boys when they grow up. Based on our own ties with our parents.
The MIM and his dad are crazy about each other, absolutely, totally, no-bones-about-it crazy. Yet the verbal duels they have make the foundations of the entire apartment building quiver and shake, and the whole household cringe!
Maa-Janoni and I share, what can be termed as, a difficult relationship. We fight, say mean things, she often sends me on guilt-trips to the Land of Shame (yes! even at this age) and we stop speaking to each other, which just ends up prolonging my stay at above-mentioned Land. And yet, when it comes to parents, I have often said, that Daddy Dearest is my weakness while Maa-Janoni is my strength! Go figure!
And the MIM and I have brought these two distinct war styles into our marriage as well. He has a sharp, double-sided razor-edged, acid coated tongue while I have a map for the Land of Shame and an endless supply of one-way tickets with his name on them.
Why do these things have to be so difficult! Why can't it start and stop with loving each other and accepting each other warts, snorts, faults, snores, disgusting habits and all? I have often found that we are so forgiving of our friends...why not with our parents and spouse?
And when our children grow up, what earthquakes and heartaches can I expect then? A mother's soul is always forgiving, they say. Yet, sometimes when I reflect upon my own bad behaviour, the Bro's or the MIM's, I worry. When I see the stubbornness and uncompromising will of the Parents (my two, his two!), I shudder.
My boys are growing up. And along with all the joys come the fears as well.
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