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Mother, writer and daydreamer. Also chocoholic and chick-flick lover. But mainly mommy. To two boys, at that! When not escorting my Elder One (EO) to karate class, I'm trying to get in as many cuddles as possible from my Younger One (YO). And when not doing either, I'm hard-at-work trying to maintain a steady relationship with my laptop. And as for the Man I Married (MIM), well, let’s just put it this way – even though we share a bedroom, our most meaningful conversations are held over the cell-phone!

Monday, August 18, 2008

Argh! My Eyes! My Eyes!

I saw ‘Brokeback Mountain’. Good movie. Definitely and without a doubt. Heath Ledger’s mumbling and muttering notwithstanding. However, I saw something in that movie which made it to my ‘things I wish I had never, EVER seen in my lifetime’ list. In fact, it gets top slot on my list. And I am talking about a mean list here. A list which has truck running over dog, The Bro puking on favorite sweater, The insides of EO’s foot as he sliced it open on a piece of glass and Chem teacher scratching his balls as top contenders on it. So what is it that I wish I had never ever seen? I wish I had never, ever seen Anne Hathaway’s breasts. This one is going to torment me for the rest of my life. Two round balls jangling over Jake Gyllenhal’s face as if she were a cow. A brief scene, but we get more than an eyeful nevertheless. Much, much more. Two much!

I mean come on, for heaven’s sake! We’re talking about the clutzy, adorable princess of the ‘Princess Diaries’ series. She somehow became enshrined in my mind forever as Mia. And then I saw this other super cute movie called ‘Ella Enchanted’. After that, I couldn’t imagine her in anything else besides sweet, adorable roles. Oh sweetness personified! She was born to do these roles. Ella, Mia, Anne…all one and the same person. These roles had to have been written with her in mind.

Okay, granted she’s an actress and that she needs to spread her wings and experiment with all sorts of roles, but can’t she experiment without shedding her clothes. I mean, COME ON!! Kissing and making out, yeah okay, if she absolutely must then why not. After all, didn't she get all slutty and tease-ey like in another all-time fave movie of mine? I'm talking about 'The Devil Wears Prada" and in it, there's this one scene where she takes off her top and shows off her sexy camisole to her boyfriend. Now that scene was darn cute! She was darn cute, the entire movie was gosh-darn-it cute! One of the rare cases where the movie was far superior to the book. Anyhoozee, as i was saying, Annie darling looked she had a grand ol' time kissing and going all smoochie-woochie. Which is okay, I can live with that. SHe can kiss all she wants, even use tongue if she simply has to. I promise I won't cringe. Buuuuut, having hot, sweaty sex. Hell no! And seeing her let it all hang out?!? God Almighty, nooooooooo! And she wanted to be a nun! Hah! That's right! Joining the convent was actually one of her career options! Pah hah hah!

That scene in "Brokeback Mountain" is as frightening as seeing a movie with Julie Andrews breasts jiggling about and horror of horrors, I believe that there is such a movie out there somewhere where she actually does indeed drop her top. I don’t ever want to see that movie, because if I do, I’ll have to pluck my eyes out with a spoon. Imagine. Our sweet, pristine Maria, who sings “My Favourite Things” with such conviction and to such perfection, that all her favourite things become your favourite things too, and then suddenly, out of nowhere, you have her topless! Actually, wait a minute. Don’t imagine that.

There has to be something ironic about this. Julie Andrews and her worthy successor, Anne Hathaway. Both radiating clutzy charm, sweetness and something so pure you can bask in it as it fills up your TV screen and reaches out and grabs you and envelops you in it from head to toe. Both who need to keep their boobs under layers and layers of clothes. And both who have horrified the prude in me so much, that I’ll probably carry this sense of horrification with me into my next life.

4 comments:

Still thinking said...

Look, we have melodrama!!! ...lol!If you ever plan to write a book M4, rest assured we'll definitely be able to imagine each and every emotion of yours in detail. :)
To add another to this sweet list is also 'Devil wears Prada'.

I watched B/B M long back and the only conclusion I had at that time was that it was going to the 'OScars'. Honestly, I lack imagination :)

Mamma mia! Me a mamma? said...

LOL!! A book, a book, my blog for a book! Let's see...maybe someday...(fingers crossed, touchwood and all that other jazz!!)

I need a smack on the head! 'Devil Wears Prada' is on my list of fave movies...how could I have forgotten? Am going back right now to edit!!

Thanks!

Mama - Mia said...

oooh! the shock of it all!! :p

did you get similar shock when you saw Mallika Sherawat actually managing a cool city girl look in Pyar Ke Side Effect afta letting it all show in her previous movies?!

:p

cheers!

abha

Mamma mia! Me a mamma? said...

You know what Namesake? Mallika gave me such a shock when she turned up at Cannes to promote her movie with Jackie Chan, wearing what she was wearing that I have become Sherawat-shock-proof!

If she declares herself to be a virgin on her wedding day, no shock. If she decided to leave Bollywood and join a bhajan singing troupe, no shock. If she says she can make perfect round chapatis, once again no shock! ;p