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Mother, writer and daydreamer. Also chocoholic and chick-flick lover. But mainly mommy. To two boys, at that! When not escorting my Elder One (EO) to karate class, I'm trying to get in as many cuddles as possible from my Younger One (YO). And when not doing either, I'm hard-at-work trying to maintain a steady relationship with my laptop. And as for the Man I Married (MIM), well, let’s just put it this way – even though we share a bedroom, our most meaningful conversations are held over the cell-phone!

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Happy Diwali...and Happy 3rd Birthday, YO!!!

My darling pixie-prince, my teddy bear, my coochi-coochie-coo,

It’s your third birthday today! FINALLY!! Yaaaaayyyyyy!!!!! You have been waiting for this day desperately, ever since your brother’s birthday party, last month; you’d ask me at least twenty times throughout the day, “Aajke aamaar budday?” (Today's my budday?) and your little face would fall each time I said, “Naa babu, aajkey na...aashchey!” (No baby, not today...it's coming!) Whenever we went anywhere, you thought we were making tracks to your birthday party and you’d begin to cry as soon as you’d see the gate to the house and begin wailing, “Naa, naa...baari jaabo naa!! Aamaar budday paatee jaabo!!!” (No, no!! I don't want to go home! I want to go to my budday paatee!!!)

Well baby! Your day is here! You had ‘two’ birthdays actually, this time round. Today being Diwali, we knew it wouldn’t be a good idea to throw a birthday party, so your party with your friends, presents, Noddy cake and the works, was on the 15th and today, we had a different, but definitely wonderful celebration at home and at my mama’r baari. But more on the celebrations some other time. This letter is about you, me and this past one year...

Do you know, that as much as you were looking forward to your birthday, I was dreading it. You just up-ed and grow-ed on me sweetheart and where was I? Wasn’t I looking? Wasn’t I paying attention?

It's official...you are not just not-a-baby-no-more, but a toddler-no-more! And it kills me to think that I somehow missed it all. I wish I was more 'in the moments' of your transformation from pupa to caterpillar rather than obsessing about the fact that you are indeed transforming. I was all mopey and down from the fact that my young one, my little one, my last one is, well, not a baby anymore. And never will be. And I'm afraid I've missed out. On your babyhood, your toddlerhood, moments, kisses, missed opportunities...and I'm never going to get those chances back. I wish I could turn back the months and watch everything on repeat mode with editing as and when required.

However, it's done. You're a little boy now, with a big personality and a huge smile and I promise you one thing my son, no more wasted moments.

But I have a confession to make here. While you were potty-trained a long time ago and weaned an even LONGER time ago (another lifetime, in fact!!), there's one thing that you are not yet still free from and that is due primarily to your father's stiff resistance and my half-hearted attempst, and that object is...the bottle! Yup, you still need your bottle of milk first thing in the morning, as soon as you open your eyes. You want it for your evening milk as well, but even though it's a mini-battle (anything food-related is a battle with you my son!), you finally do have it from a cup, except when you're sick or cranky due to no afternoon nap. I know I should try harder to make you switch from bottle to cup in the morning as well, but there's just something so beautiful and tender and yes, adorably baby-like as you fall back on the pillow in a grateful thud and start putting the milk away. Sigh...it's just makes me cling to the illusion that you're still a baby. Okay...maybe three more months?

You, my late-bloomer in the speech department (and I say this because your seven-day older cousin was chittering, chattering and chirping away in the most adorable way imaginable) are now speaking in not just long, lengthy sentences with logic and reason, and...you can speak in three-ish languages now! So yaaayyy! Your Bangla’s the best, your English, adorable, and you Hindi, very entertaining!

You’ve never been a big fan of The Cuddle, like your big bro, but whenever you feel like it, you cover us from top to toe with the sweetest, softest, gentlest kisses in the world! They make me sooooo greedy for more, and you only indulge me if you feel like it, but if you’ve dispensed with your quota, nothing on earth can make you part with even one! While it pains me a little to see you squirm in my arms and twist away, what more than makes up for it is the way you suddenly, out of nowhere, come and plant these kisses on whatever body part you can grab! It’s always most unexpected and never fails to take me by surprise! Muwaaah!

You are so a ‘baba-ka-bachchaa’. The relationship you have with your father is something special. Whenever the two of you are together, it’s like you are ensconced in your own little world and I can only watch from the fringes. Yes, I do feel left out at times, but mostly, there’s a lump in my throat and a melty feeling in my heart as I watch you both, thoroughly entranced. It's touching and tender and funny too, and I'm just so grateful to be a part of it even if it is as spectator.

You are such a dare-devil! Nothing scares you my baby! It's like Speed Racer is your guru, your hero, your idol! You have this 'car' which we bought you for your last birthday and you're always racing around on it, skidding and performing tricks on it! You fall down on purpose and crash into things on purpose...and always get up with an impish grin on your face and a mischievous twinkle in your eyes. And last week, we bought you a cycle for your birthday, and you're already performing baby!! F1 racing? Tour de France? Or just plain old entertainment? Whatever it is baby, keep that deadly combination of smile-and-twinkle and you'll have quite the fan base, I assure you!

Oh, but about the 'not scared' bit, well there are two things, actually. You hate going into a dark room by yourself and you hate heights. The latter is quite confusing really, considering you love climbing up things...window ledges, curtains, table tops, kitchen counters...you even bring the wicker modas to places you can't reach and attempt to scale peaks. And yet, whenever your baba or kaka pick you up above their heads for a whirl, or try to make you sit on their shoulders, you cling to their heads like a baby monkey clutching onto a banana tree with all four limbs! Quite the sight, my baby, quite the sight!

But everything about you is a sight, my jaan! I watch in wonder as you grow from giggle to chuckle to belly-shaking laughter; from anger to wail to full-blown tantrum; from cuteness to sweetness to pure, unadulterated delight!

You take my breath away darling, in many, many ways...and I absolutely know that you always will!

God bless you my jaan! Happy, happy birthday! I love you more than you can imagine...I love you more than I can imagine!

Thank you for being mine,
Mamma

12 comments:

Annie said...

awwww, M4..

Happy giving-birth-day to you :)

your kids (mashallah) sound like they are made of magic ...so does your momma love..

May life and all the small mama-baby moments be like that for you too.. magical.

Happy Diwali.

indianhomemaker said...

Your last line... !!!!

A very happy birthday to YO!!
And a very Happy Diwali to all of you!!

Why do moms delight so in daddy and baby times? I feel the same way, even today!

And I know the feeling of not wanting them to grow up, I used to tease them and ask them why they won't stop growing for a while!!

R's Mom said...

Like Indianhomemaker says...Your last line!!! Wow...and what a sweet post is that..Happy Belated birthday YO :):)

Monika,Ansh said...

Aww Happy Birthday YO. It's amazing how your mama describes the last year. You sound liek an absolutely adorable little darling.

Happy Diwali M4. SUCH A SWWET POST.

Poppins said...

Happy Happy Birthday to the YO !

That was a beautiful letter M4!

Monika said...

u did it yet again M4... took our heart away and had me teary eyed...

happy birthday to YO may god bless him with whatever he wishes for in life

Mamma mia! Me a mamma? said...

@ Annie: Thank you for those lovely words and wishes!

@ Awww IHM! You always make me blush! And yes, daddy-baby moments are always beautiful!

@ R's Mom: Thank you kindly!

@ Mon, Ansh: Adorable yes, but tons mischievous, don't forget! Thanks for the wishes :)

@ Poppins: Thanks sweetie! :)

@ Monika: Awww babe! What wonderful things you say! Thanks dear!

wordjunkie said...

Many Happies , YO, and here's to many more!

Mama - Mia said...

:)

Happy Happy Happy Birthday to the YO!! :)

i am in love with him thanks to your words. am sure i will be charmed forever the day i really get to see him!

many happy and fun times wishes for the l'il guy!

give him whole lotta hugs will ya? even though he doesnt enjoy em?! :)

cheers!

abha

Mamma mia! Me a mamma? said...

@ WJ: Thanks for the wishes! So much!

@ Abha: Keep him for a day, then we'll talk charming, ok? He's quite the two handfuls...and more! Thanks for your wishes babe! And yes, the hugging continues!

The Ketchup Girl said...

very very awwww like post. Birthdays bring out a stock of emotions outta mummas :D. happy birthday YO! A BIIIG Hug. and tell ma not to worry too much about the bottle! That will go away too!

Mystic Margarita said...

Awwwwwwwwwwww. Really, M4 - this is such a lovely letter. I echo your every word, like I do for most of your posts. And a belated happy happy day to the darling pixie prince - may he cast a spell on his doting parents forever! :)