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Mother, writer and daydreamer. Also chocoholic and chick-flick lover. But mainly mommy. To two boys, at that! When not escorting my Elder One (EO) to karate class, I'm trying to get in as many cuddles as possible from my Younger One (YO). And when not doing either, I'm hard-at-work trying to maintain a steady relationship with my laptop. And as for the Man I Married (MIM), well, let’s just put it this way – even though we share a bedroom, our most meaningful conversations are held over the cell-phone!

Friday, May 22, 2009

Andamans Again: Part 3.75

To Me: On My __ Birthday
January 27th, 2009

Dear auntyjis of flabulous proportions;
with thunder thighs
and quadruple bums;
sporting cellulite
and wobbly tum-tums --
to you all I owe an apology,
and this I offer most sincerely.

I've often snickered
and rudely smirked
at your flowery swim-suits
complete with skirt.
The frilly ruffle
meant to hide
jelly thighs
and buttocks wide,
has many a-time,
I must admit,
been a huge source
of entertainment.

Even I, with my
not-so-perfect body,
found the look
disastrous and shoddy.
Looking at you
dressed in water-proof shroud,
of my more-than ample
curves, felt proud.

My pride has now
crumbled into the dust,
as my sniggers have come back
to bite my big, fat butt!

Oh how I've swallowed
all my pride.
When I looked in the mirror,
I nearly died!

I now understand,
oh I truly do,
why that frilly ruffle
is like a friend, true-blue.

It tries to shelter
and protect,
even offer you
a little self-respect.

Gone are the days
when you could cavort
in a sexy one-piece,
or even a bikini, sport!

So take heed,
all you stick insects.
Yes, you with those
boobless chests.

Revel in your
size-zero status;
your flat abs,
your pebble-like breasts.
For before you know it,
(it'll hit you hard!),
you'll be making friends with frills
that cover lard!

I've donned the frilly garb, you see,
at the ripe old-age of 33.
Yes, oh yes, I've also become,
a very ruffled auntyji!!

21 comments:

Monika,Ansh said...

Aww.........I just loved it. My God, u have such a way with words. I was laughing my lards off...lol.

Hey, u have an award waiting on my site.

Still thinking said...

Lol!

Hey water bearer, belated b'day wishes. I know, it's way too belated but I still wanna wish.

Gawd! woman, you're so brilliant and I totally love your SOH.

P.S: Please, please, 33 ain't old at all! Don't you dare!

Anonymous said...

It gets better - ever seen those full sleeved, ankle length swimsuits? I kid you not.

Indyeah said...

LOL!!
MM you are a rocking gal for sure!
that funny bone you have?
crazy and cute and endearing to say the least:D

and yeah like a friend of yours has already said 33 isnt old :P:P

Lemme also say Happy Birthday!!!
belated but what the heck!
with that attitude you rock!!!:))))


((hugs))

Indian Homemaker said...

Lovely!!! lol :)
Belated Birthday wishes to you :)

This one is too good.... read out to my kids and we are all laughing now :) I share the sentiment about practicality of frilly swimsuits, and ruffled aunts: (giggling)

Goofy Mumma said...

M4, beautifully written. I think you really should get a book of poems published. This was simply fabulous. wonderfully written. :)

Poppins said...

No ! No! Not the ruffles. Gawd I hate those.

Lovely poem though.

richajn said...

aaw. belated b'day wishes. Lovely poem.

Sue said...

*claps loudly*

*then whistles*

Preeti Sharma said...

Brilliant. Perfect combination of wit, satire and human-ness...just like the poet herself.

Rohini said...

Funny poem!

Though I agree with Poppy! The ruffles are avoidable.

Mama - Mia said...

brilliant stuff!!!! :)

this is ofcos from auntyji who wears her shorts into the water! bah! :(

cheers!

Serendipity said...

hahahahaha!!!!
This was well said!! :D

D said...

Lol! Loved it... that was so well composed!

Just read this post at Phoenixritu's blof about an ode to a waist and now this one. Seems like it's time to count my blessings while they last ;)

Mamma mia! Me a mamma? said...

@M,A: Thank you dear, glad you enjoyed it! Anything to make you smile and keep you happy! Your awrads sure dod that for me :)

@Still: Wishes are always welcome; thank you for yours!

@Anon: Yes, I've seen those too! Oh, the horror!

@Ind: Rocking wishes from a rocking babe! Thanks! I like!

@IHM: Soooooo glad you enjoyed this! I hope your kids did too!

@GM: Sigh! That would be a dream come true!

@Poppins: Believe me, I abhor them! But I abhor the sight of the area that they cover even more! :(

@richajn: Thank you :)

@Sue: *does a fancy-prancy dance in her ruffles if appreciation*

@Preeti: Awww sweets! What on earth would I do without you and your words?

@Rohini: Believe me, I detest them too, but kya karoon?

@Namesake: Shorts! Now there's an idea! Thanks!

@Serendipiry: You likee? Me thankee! :)

@D: Yes, yes, count your blessing and lock them up somewhere safe so that they don't escape!

Mystic Margarita said...

This is just too good, M4! And so very relevant to me, now that I am very much an auntyji myself!

By the way, let me reiterate for the thousandth time, you are stunning and you rock, girl! :)

Parul said...

Fantastic! You are quite a poet.

dipali said...

Truly awesome. I go into deep depression whenever I see a rear view of me wearing my swimming costume:(
I need to get me some frills:)

Munchkin said...

lol..priceless!
and dont worry about the few extra pounds..there's just more of you to love now :)

Mamma mia! Me a mamma? said...

@Mystic: Awww! You are the most generous person I've ever met! Thank god for the blogosphere!

@Parul: Yes, yes I am a poet!
Betchya didn e'en know it!

@Dipali: I so, so sympathise! Get those frills and strut your stuff!

@Munchkin: There's always been too much of me to love, if I pack on any more pounds I'm likely to be sued for 'emotional atyachaar'!

Rambunctious WhipperSnapper said...

I'm sure I don't need to tell you but this was absolutely delightful! I'm still laughing!!