My Boys

You listen to stories
with such rapt attention;
you build the movies in your head
and I know you take the lead,
you become the prince on a heroic adventure,
I can see it all happening in your eyes.
My little boy,
growing up
and how!
But to me,
you’re still a child,
a baby.

And you,
my small one,
my little, teddy bear.
You hide behind the curtains,
you climb up on my back;
you munch on chocolates and cookies
and go chasing after bouncy balls
in screaming delight.
My little one,
a baby yet.

After the day is done
and the night has come,
you nuzzle your heads
into my neck
and they fit so well
because they belongs there.
I sing you a lullaby,
or two,
or three,
at times you sing along too,
and before long
it’s your gentle breathing
that I am listening to.

Earth child,
wind child,
my sunshine,
my sunbeam,
my sons,
my little boys.

One with moon dust in his eyes,
The other with star shine.
One with a heart
that’s a river wide,
The other with a laugh
that’s a liberty bell.
My Gallant Knight,
my gentle soul,
my elder one.
My Pixie Prince,
my trickster heart,
my younger one.

I want to be the mom
who lets you spread your wings and fly.

I can be that mom
Who lets you fly planes across the oceans
Or go backpacking round the world.
I can be the mom
Who lets you bang on drums for a living
Or put on ghungroos to dance.

I can be that mom
Who let’s you struggle
To see your celluloid dreams come true,
Or whips up omelets in a restaurant
Or designs dresses out of peacock colours
and gossamer silk.

Yes.
I can be her,
I can be that mom.

But can I be the mom
Who kisses you off to war?
Standing straight
and proud,
tearless,
fearless?
Can I be that mom
who sits with photographs in the dark;
a prayer on her lips,
a hope in her heart,
fearful,
tearful?
Safety on her mind,
Life a hope,
a wish.

Can I be that mom
Who pretends everything is fine?
Watching the news all the time,
waiting for phone calls,
e-mails,
letters
or even a post-card or two?
I’ll be proud
no matter what you do,
I’ll be proud
no matter what you choose.

You’re my little boys,
I’ll give you all my best
in the Gods I trust,
and to Them I’ll leave the rest.

Hate This 'Love Guru'

Finally saw the 'Love Guru' last night with hubby, to see what all the hullabaloo was about.

It was worse than what all the critics had to say. Infinitely worse.

The movie is a crap-fest all the way, with stereotypes that belong only in an Indian theme park, restaurant or Hollywood bash, an 'India Theme Party' thrown by some misguided movie star who has just discovered the existence of the Kamasutra or that yoga makes her body more flexible. The dialogues have obviously been written by someone with shit in their brains and suffering from a bad case of verbal diarreah.

Yes I can laugh at myself. I'm all for good humour, satire and a little bit of slapstick too. But here, I feel as if my country, traditions and heritage have been grossly insulted. Smeared in dog doo-doo and put up for the world to point fingers at.

And the worst part? Ben Kingsley. Shame on you sir. Shame, shame, shame on YOU. Of all people, you.

Happy Diwali

My dear friends, these are my Diwali wishes for you and yours...
May the colours of the festive season paint your lives; may the bliss of peace fill your minds and homes; may the comfort of prosperity pervade your sleep and bank accounts; may the blessings of good health remain a constant, a given; may the joys of love fill your hearts and souls.

Happy Diwali to you all! I hope to meet you all...some day!

Tough Calls...

~It's tough, despite the paediatrcian telling you to chillax, to not pull out your hair in clumps of frustration and desperation, when your mouth-bursting-with-blisters-elder-son is not eating ANYTHING. Anything folks, I mean not a drop, not a bit, not a bite. "Ok doctor, my son is disappearing in front of my very eyes. He's a pale skeleton of his former self. Can you prescribe a page of anti-depressants for me since you won't shove a pipe down his throat?"

~It's tough plastering a huge, fake smile on your face and screeching in your best happy voice when you go to pick up your little baby from school and see him sitting there with a sad little puppy dog face, eyes full of tears and lower lip turned out in a pout, between his two class teachers waiting for you to walk through the gate.

~It's tough being heart-crumblingly in love with your toddler when he's throwing a tantrum that will put the wrath of the Furies to shame.

~It's tough to stop yourself from rushing and picking up the same now-thoroughly-chastised toddler in a bone crushing hug, when you see him sitting in a corner, spent from the ferocity of his emotions and alternatingly emitting snifles and involuntary body shivers. Why do Time-Outs come first and hugs later?

~It's tough telling your boho spirit that "No, you can't put on a gypsy skirt, khadi kurti, and multi-coloured joothis and spend the entire day and evening roaming the various art galleries of the city and writing poetry under a shady tree. The luxury of time is not yours anymore."

Splash

I try to distance myself
as your fingers
make music
on my skin.
Instead,
I squiggle
and squeal
to the chaos
of its’ tune.

I try to dive
through your eyes
and come out unwet.
Instead,
I drench myself
in your smile
and splash about.

I try to imagine
my days
and nights
minus you.
Instead,
you travel through me
like a lingering dream.

Please
let me sleep.
And if I’m awake,
then don’t ever tell me.

Birthday Blast: Micky Mouse Ruled the House

Another birthday come and gone. Another birthday party planned and executed. The same old Mamma, in her tired, fuzzy-headed avtaar with swollen feet, blurry vision, pounding head and happy, happy heart.


The Mickey Mouse theme was chosen by me. Not the YO, who doesn't really have any favourites yet. Well actually, that's not totally true...being a devoted younger brother in every sense, he adores Ben 10, but I just had (let me rephrase that), my EO just had a Ben 10 party a month ago; and besides, what does my little tyke really understand about a little boy transmogrifying into an alien at the push of a really bulky watch? And thus, with these absolutely logical and practical reasonings goading me on, I settled upon another rational thought, "This'll be the last time I get to choose, after all from next year it'll be what he wants." And so I decided to go with sweet, adorable Mickey. After all, thanks to Ben 10, the Power Rangers and the Eon Kid all around, our faithful friends from our childhood, like Mickey, Goofy, Donald and the gang, Winnie the Pooh and Noddy are oft forgotten.


The house was decorated with red, white and black balloons with matching ribbons curling from the balloon clusters. Balloons. That's all you need to transform a home into a birthday party zone. Balloons. And the kids of course.


And said kids started trickling in from 5.30 onwards. By 5.55, the house was shaking with peals of laughter and stomping feet. It was obvious that the ball pool that I had had assembled was not enough to contain such a massive load of energy, and so began the puppet show. Now, I had organised the same puppet show last year and I was worried whether the older gang of kids (read the EO and friends) would enjoy it or not...since in recent times I've noticed their attention flagging after the first ten minutes or so at friends' houses. But I really didn't let that worry me too much since I had chosen it for the YO and his new set of school friends and boy am I glad. They all enjoyed it and to my immense delight, and yes surprise, the older kids had a blast too! They danced along with the puppets, recited the rhymes and then had an animated chat with the ventriloquist's monkey. Unfortunately, two or three of the big kids said some un-nice things to the puppet which upset me and I did tick them off for that. I know it was a party and everything, but that doesn't excuse the potty talk.

After the puppet show, I packed the 'babies' off to the ball pool again and played some really fun games and races with the elder lot. I am happy to say that the races were a hit and the children wanted to do them over and over again and I was only too happy to oblige. There was a balloon race, a carry-the-plastic-ball-on-a-paper-plate-to-the-finish-line-without-dropping-it race and a run-with-the-paper-plate-clenched-between-your-teeth-and-pass-it-on-to-your-partner-who-has-to-run-back-with-it race. Fun, I tell you and I urge you all to try them out sometime at your future parties!

After all the fun and games, it was time to cut the cake. I couldn't find the candles, so unfortunately we had to do with just one. And of course someone set off the party popper before the cake even made it out of the kitchen! Also trying to get the husband, elder brother, cousins and grandparents around the table at the same time proved to be very challenging because my YO and the Niece were busy sampling the gorgeous, chocolate Mickey Mouse cake laid out in front of them. Barring these minor hiccups, we sang, cheered, cut the cake and fed it to all.

After that, the MIM and YO burst open the khoyi bag which generously showered its load of precious gifts and toffees upon the masses eagerly scrambling beneath.

I planned a Chinese menu with veg hakka chow, veg spring rolls, momos (both, veg and non-veg), a sweet garlic chicken gravy and veg manchurian gravy. Of course there were chips, potato smilies, chocolate-icing biscuits and cold drinks too.

The YO's three classmates who turned up came accompanied by an elder brother or sister, near the EO's age and that thrilled me no end. What really floored me was when I introduced my EO to one such elder brother, explaining who he was and my 'little' big boy put out his hand and said, "Hi! I'm A******. What's your name?" Aww! When did you grow up, my baby? When I was not looking perhaps?

And speaking of babies, my other little one, the one in whose honour the whole shebang had been planned, had a BLAST!! I can not emphasise how much he enjoyed the whole day! He felt like Prince For A Day and rightly so! He got lots of phone calls throughout the day and he responded to each and every 'Happy Bithday' with his own 'Appy Budday!' He stayed up well past his bedtime and refused to get out of his birthday party clothes...a lovely denim set and T-shirt which made him look like quite the little cowboy! The only things missing were boots and a cowboy hat! He ran around with his curls bouncing on his head, laughed, screamed and danced like every child should on his/her birthday.

Another great thing about the party was that there was a party-within-a-party, where the grandparents group had settled themselves around the ball pool and they were having a roaring adda session with booze supplied by my bartender MIM and fresh snacks by yours truly. The live entertainment was provided courtesy the little ones frolicking about the pool. Even after it was packed up and taken away by the party planners, they generously kept the entertainment going by swinging into an impromtu jam session. Bangs, clangs, screeches galore!

All in all, a happy occasion made happier by the fact that the kids, and especially my YO, enjoyed themselves from start to finish!

Happy 2nd Birthday My Darling YO

My baby jaan, my sweet, my YO,

Let me tell you a story...

Once upon a time, there was a little Pixie who used to run about the Garden of the Gods. He was a naughty, playful little Pixie, running about under the bright sunlight and the clear, blue sky everyday. He was happiest when running about. He would try to catch raindrops in the palm of his hand; look for butterflies and birds to chase, and clouds to float on. His eyes sparkled with mischief and his laughter rang with delight. To see his eyes, was to bask in it's luminosity; to hear his laugh, was to feel it shake your bones.

The Gods and Goddesses loved this little Pixie very much, just like all Their other children.

One day, from amongst the clouds, the Gods showed the little Pixie a woman on Earth. She was praying to Them for a little baby. A healthy, happy baby who would complete her life; fill it with the gurgle of the babbling brook and the light of the twinkling stars. Run with enthusiastic abandon under the blue, cloud-filled sky and observe the rain as if in silent prayer. A baby to remind her about Gods' miracles and creation. And most importantly, a baby to cuddle and hold, to love and to cherish. A baby all her own.

The Gods and Goddesses looked at the little Pixie with a question in Their eyes. The Pixie answered back with a smile.

And that, my precious Pixie Prince, is how you came to me. Thank you endlessly, my little one, for choosing me to be your Mamma. My eternal thanks to all the Gods and Goddesses in heaven for blessing me with you.

You are a bundle of pure joy. The term 'with mischief sparkling in his eyes' was coined just for you. You are a joy to behold! Your delightful curls bounce when you run. You dance when there is music, you ask for an endless supply of 'biskee', you can play with your brother and cousins all day long and yet, you cuddle into my lap when you are sleepy.

You love your elder brother to bits...and trouble him no end! Having said that, you, my little pugilist, are ready to take on anyone you perceieve is trubling your big brother -- size not an issue. Case in point: last Sunday when we went to your brother's friend's birthday party and you saw the two of them engaged in a rather rough game of hug-and-squeeze. You immediately rushed to your bro's 'defence' and started pummeling the poor birthday boy with your tiny little fists, even though he was twice your size!

You are also head strong, stubborn, willful with a flaming temper to match. You definitely have a mind of your own and you don't back down. Good for you my baby! Don't let anyone push you around! I am happy you have this trait, even though I realise that it means clashing heads and battles of words with you as you get older.

But time enough for that, my little one. For now, you have just taken your first steps into pre-school. Quite frankly, and surprisingly I must admit, you are hating it. I thought you would be the one walking in with a smile on your face and without a second look back. Instead, they take you from my arms and you are gently, but firmly led in. All the while, you try to break free of their clasp, your head turned in my direction, the name 'Mamma' firmly upon your lips. I whisper back, "Mamma's right here darling, Mamma's right here."

And I always will be. Whether you're looking or not. I will stand by you so that you can see me and take reassurance from my presence. Whether you call out for me or not. I will always be within shouting distance; just call out for me and I will come running. Whether you want me or not. I will be there -- to be your strength, your comfort, your soft spot upon which to fall, the wind beneath your wings...I will be them all.

Mamma's right here.

Happy birthday, my YO. God bless you my baby -- forever and ever.

Love,
always and always,
Mamma

Of Weepy Wails and Brother Tales

(This was supposed to be posted yesterday, but I had some problems with the Internet connection.)

15th October:
Kangaroo Kids reopened today. After the Pujo break, three of the four babies in our home are trotting off to school with bags on their backs and water bottles swinging from their necks. The Nephew, the Niece and my little YO. My EO is still enjoying his last few days of running me up the wall as he personally runs amuck.

A little recap for those interested:
~ The Nephew is 5+ and studying in Sr KG. Preparing for the big world of the Big School! (Yes, yes, he is older than my EO by three months, but I shifted my little boy out of KK and into a Big School for various reasons).
~ The Niece is older than my YO by seven days! (Bawdy jokes and conspiracy theories may be thrown my way…we never hear the end of this and I guess we never will!! Our fault, but naturally!) So they are both waddling off to pre-Nursery, but the difference is that while the Niece is in the non-crier’s group, my baby boy is in the crier’s group…still in the process of settling down! And their batch starts a bit later.

So, back to today’s chain of events: I took the EO along to drop off the YO at school. After that, we were going to watch a long-promised movie at Fame. Now the YO had started off with his wails the moment we tried to put his shoes and back-pack on him. The ayah and I just bundled him up and proceeded to the car where his screams got louder and more intense. You all know by now what a sensitive soul my EO is and I knew what kind of an effect the sobs must have been having on him. While trying to calm my YO, I looked out of the corner of my eye to steal a peek at my EO, and sure enough, his eyes were beginning to redden. We all got down in front of the school, where one of the teachers immediately came and took a sobbing, ‘Mamma’-screaming, breaking-Mamma’s-heart-wailing YO from my hands inside to his class. I stared teary-eyed at him, whispering silent and fervent prayers to the all Gods to take care of my little teddy bear. Suddenly, I felt two little arms wrap themselves tightly around me and a little body shaking with sadness. I looked down to see my EO’s head buried into my tum-tum, trying very hard to stifle his sobs. The administrator of KK was there and she was watching the sequence of events. She gently asked him what was wrong, and my gentle, precious, sensitive boy wailed, “I want my younger brother hooooooooooooommmmmeeee!” before dissolving into fresh sobs!

Oh baby! Oh baby, baby, baby! Bless your love and affection. Bless your brotherly bond. Bless you both…my jaan and my praan.

Shubho Bijoya

Heartfelt Bijoya greetings to you all! May the Goddess bless you and yours with good health, happiness, peaceful times and togetherness!

May your children laugh and run in the sun; may you wake up next to the love of your life every morning; may you make new friends who make life that much more beautiful; may you have family to support every whim, dream and fancy of yours! These are what I wish for you, my blog friends -- my new friends, my friends!

Shubho Bijoya!

A-Picnicing We Go

Well, I did it again! I tempted fate! Yes, I sure did.

While Wednesday morning was all bright and sunny and beautiful, by the afternoon, the EO started to lose his voice, walk around listlessly and develop a slight temperature. By the evening, the fever was well and truly in place and the Frog King had magically switched voices with my boy.

Not that it stopped him from listening, dancing (read jumping in bendy contortions) and singing (here, read croaking!) to "Where's the Party Tonight?" at least 15 times that day! By the end of it I was feebly mouthing "Where's my sanity right now?"

That night, the EO's fever kept the MIM and me on tenterhooks. The temperature wasn't high or anything, it was just there. While I sent up all sorts of prayers to the Ones Above, I kept a silent vigil over his head. Sometime in the middle of the night, his fever broke and I finally and happily settled myself into the pillows to shut my tired, bloody-red eyes...only to be woken up ten seconds later by my screeching alarm clock! Yes, I'm exaggerating, but it certainly seemed like that! I quickly shut it off, stuffed my face into the pillow and promised myself "Just five minutes!" This time I was woken up by my mobile phone...THIRTY minutes later! My brain was too frazzled to work out what kind of Time Relative Laws were at work, so I just looked at the time and name flashing on my mobile instead. It was the friend who was organising the picnic! Yikes!

With one hand on my son's forehead and my eyes on my sleeping-snoring husband, I answered the phone as sunnily as possible, hoping that it was a voice that would portray that I had been up and about for a long while now.

Friend-G: Hi! Utte gechhish? (Are you up?)

Me: (now on normal days I probably would have snapped, 'Well, I am now!' Truly, this question belongs on the list of the Greatest, Stupidest Questions of All Time, right with 'Have you got a new haircut?', when you so obviously have!! Anyway, I couldn't snap. I was pretending to be sunny and awake, right?) So, Me: HIIIIIIII! Henh, henh! Anik khhon! (Yes, yes! Long time!)
(I think I sounded like one of those drunkards who try too hard to show that they're not drunk, but a-ok, but hopefully she didn't catch on.)

Then, Friend-G went on to rattle off a list of instructions, but since my brain was still shut-down, I didn't register any of it! After she finished, she asked me if I had got all of that and I enthusiastically replied in the affirmative!

My morning mug of coffee-flavoured milk helped my brain switch on and I went about trying to organise things that I would need for a picnic; things that are usually written on a list and brought together the night before the day of the picnic, But hello! This is M4 and she's the one who starts packing her entire household, belongings and life into boxes and crates an hour before the packers are due to arrive to transport them from City A to City B.

Right...I am digressing way too much here. Let me edit all the un-fun bits and shorten my ramblings. Suffice to say, that I got my band of Merry Men ready in record time and bundled into the car, just in time for another family of four to pull up into our garage, all set to go a-picnicing! The EO was all excited about inaugurating his wooden cricket set at the picnic. It was but into a fancy holder with a strap and everything and my EO slung it on across his shoulder and strutted (read struggled) about with the paraphernalia that was almost as tall as him. He looked at the full-length mirror and said, "I am looking handsome, naa?" Awww, my baby! When do you not?

Well, after all the petrol-filing, air-in-the-tyres checking and sandwich buying, we were all happily on our way to Raichauk, a gorgeous piece of heaven attached to The Ffort Radisson, a one-hour-and-fifteen-minute drive away. We all met up near IIM Joka and carried on.

I can not begin to describe to you the beauty of the place. Green, green, green as far as the eye can see. The Ganga flows on one side and there are gorgeous cottages and bungalows dotted throughout the place on the other.

The picnic was exactly what he doctor had ordered. The kids ran around all day, feed huge geese, the husbands played cricket with their little ones and we womenfolk went for long walks and exchanged tidbits, catching up on each others' lives. We lunched at a lovely Indian restaurant on the premises, called The Courtyard, and we were ravenous. The food was delicious, but maybe it's because we had worked up quite an appetite...who knows, who cares? The bottom line? The food was delicious.

Erm, I can feel many of your brows forming question marks and wondering "Picnic? Restaurant?" and I don't blame you. We did indeed pack food and drinks. We packed breakfast, Vodka, Bacardi and chips. Isn't that what a picnic spread is made up of? (she asks all sweetly and innocently...)

All in all, the picnic was FANTASTIC! At times filmi thanks to some moments of drama, at times as noisy as a birthday party thanks to all the cricket and at times serene thanks to all the lying about wordlessly and peacefully.

The drive back was slow thanks to all the traffic, but it was also nice since we sighted a couple of trucks carrying idols of West Bengal's favourite Goddess and Her Children. Yes, Durga Puja is just a few days away! The festival of madness, chaos and traffic jams is just a few days away. But attached to all the noise and commotion are sights of such creative wonder; idols crafted with such beauty, dedication and devotion; and pandals that are absolute architectural marvels, that you really would't want to be anywhere else.

But of course, that's another post waiting to happen! In the meanwhile, thank you Friend-G for organising this outing and for bring all our friends together! Can we have another one please?

A Good Morning

The day promises to be a good one...

I was all awash with tenderness as I saw my boys propped up against the sofa-cum-bed, munching away on apples in silent, brotherly companionship.

We are on the fourth replay of "Where's the Party Tonight?" by express request of the EO and he is giving his dance every ounce of energy he has, 'singing' (read 'yelling') out the chorus at the top of his voice and trying to monitor his moves in the bathroom mirror (our bed is the improv dance floor!). It's quite a tough task if you're jumping up and down like a certain Jack Flash with an urge to pee and itch at the same time! But if he's anything as cute as my EO, then trust me, the sight is adorable!

Tomorrow...there may be a picnic! Plans are in the offing! Shhh! Keeping my fingers crossed!

Yes! So far so good! And don't they say that morning shows the day? Keeping my toes crossed on this one...